John Kerry broke his leg, which proves he’s rich (and possibly French)

U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry (L) cycles past the Olympic Museum in Lausanne, March 16, 2015. Kerry and Iranian counterpart Mohammad Javad Zarif held four hours of nuclear talks on Monday in the Swiss city of Lausanne before the Iranian delegation he

Kerry, looking suspiciously like a cheese-eating surrender monkey

As you’ve probably already heard, Secretary of State John Kerry broke his leg in a biking accident on Sunday and is reportedly doing well following surgery on Tuesday morning. So beyond updates here and there on his recovery, end of story, right? Not so fast! Because Politico explored the seedy underbelly of this accident and realized that it was a metaphor for political mishaps during the course of Kerry’s career. Or something like that. Plus, he’s rich. And perhaps a little too French. Here are a few excerpts to give you a flavor of this exercise in “are you freaking kidding me?” (A soupçon, as it were.)

  • “Whether he’s hitting the slopes, captaining a ship or strumming his classical guitar …”
  • “… an aristocratic taste that has provided countless punch lines for his critics …”
  • “Since he first came to

    in the 1980s, Kerry has been hounded by an image as a snooty patrician.”

  • “… he takes less care than he did as a senator to conceal some of his more patrician tastes.”
  • “When visiting France, Kerry sometimes speaks the native tongue in public. On Monday he thanked his French doctors in a French-language tweet.” (In public? Gasp.)

Mon Dieu! What a load of merde.

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