Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY!

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“Remember, folks, children are our future…”

As we await the start of the Democratic candidates forum in South Carolina, the kids weigh in with Kimmel on the 2016 candidates:

Your last DK v. 4.0 west coast-friendly edition of  Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold… [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers: Thursday

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Oh! More Things I Know:

Tuesday’s Democratic winners will be careful to enact policies that don’t overreach. Tuesday’s Republican winners will be careful to enact policies that do nothing but overreach.
In the 36 hours since the polls closed Tuesday, I’ve received 296 emails from various campaigns informing me that our work isn’t finished, by which they mean the work involving me giving them more money.

Kim Davis’s husband Joe is so excited to be going to Kentucky governor-elect Matt Bevin’s inauguration that he’s already rented his tuxedo overalls.

Halloween Popemobile 2015

Also I know that the baby popemobile won Halloween.

George H.W. and Barbara Bush have a bright red box in their house that says, “In case of emergency, break glass and run Neil.”
At this point it would be easier if the automakers published lists of the cars that aren’t being recalled.


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Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday

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If the Elections Didn’t Go Your Way Last Night

Same drill as last year. Step 1: Spend the day with one of these…

Golden retriever

Step 2: See Step 1.
I hear it’s clinically proven.

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold…and life goes on.

Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday

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A Votin’ We Will Go…

Sure, it’s an off-off-year election day, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some—nay, a lot of—important issues and candidates on the various ballots around the country.

Here in Maine we’ve got some interesting decisions to make. Three state ballot initiatives are aiming to fund affordable housing for low-income seniors, transportation projects (roads, bridges, commuter hovercraft lanes) and—gasp!—clean elections.

GOTV sign

As true as ever.

Closer to home, Portland is having its first mayoral re-election election. Four years ago Democrat Michael Brennan became the first voted-in and paid mayor since 1923, 88 years after the position was reduced to a mere symbolic one as decided by the city council. Brennan’s main competition is from fellow Democrat Ethan Strimling. Not to dive too far into the local weeds, but I hope Strimling loses. Someone’s gonna need to pick up the gubernatorial

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Cheers and Jeers: Monday

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The GOP Candidates Unveil Their New Debate Format

Rush Limbaugh: Thank you for joining us for the fourth Republican debate. I’m Rush Limbaugh with my co-moderators Sean Hannity and Mark Levin. Mark, I see you have a spoon of chocolate pudding ready, so why don’t you ask the first question.
Mr. Levin: Thank you, Rush. Governor Huckabee, my question to you is: would you like some pudding? Would ya, huh huh? Brrrrrrroom Brrrrrrrroom…here comes the big pudding airplane into the big Huckabee hangar! Open wide…. Attaboy! Mikey eats the pudding!

U.S. Republican presidential candidate and former Governor Jeb Bush waves to the crowd at the conclusion of the North Texas Presidential Forum hosted by the Faith & Freedom Coalition and Prestonwood Baptist Church in Plano, Texas October 18, 2015.  REUTER

“Jeb want pudding, too!”

Gov. Huckabee: Nom nom nom! Yummy pudding tasty! Jesus loved pudding and I love Jesus so I LOVE PUDDING! Impeach Obama!
[Audience standing ovation]

Mr. Limbaugh: Sean Hannity will ask the next question with the next spoonful of pudding.

Mr. Hannity: Thanks, Rush. This question is

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Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY!

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Late Night Snark: Farewell October Edition

“Jeb Bush had a very rough night [at the debate]. He finally got time to say what he wanted, and how did he use it? He attacks not Donald Trump, not Hillary Clinton or Ben Carson. Of all people, he attacks Marco Rubio for missing votes in the Senate. Which is something that literally no one outside of Florida cares about. It was embarrassing. It’s just like a Bush to attack the wrong guy.”
—Jimmy Kimmel
“Carly Fiorina said that after the previous debate, people told her that she needed to smile more. They were like, ‘Just pretend you’re laying off a bunch of people.'”
—Jimmy Fallon

Halloween graphic about Republicans

“On 60 Minutes Vice President Joe Biden said he chose not to run for president because he couldn’t win. After hearing this, Bobby Jindal said, ‘Since when is that

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Cheers and Jeers: Thursday

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Things I Learned from Republicans in October

Time to give your brain cells their monthly workout:

Sex belongs to Christians. (Pastor John Piper)
American schools should have a sticker on their windows that say, “We are armed. Come in at your own peril. You will be shot.” (Rand Paul)

Gay marriage is like car seats for conjoined twins. (Ben Carson)

Elephant in graduation gown

President Barack Obama’s treatment of Israel caused the thousand-year floods in South Carolina. (Michele Bachmann)
Real Christians own guns. (Tennessee Lt. Governor Ron Ramsey)

County legislatures can pass resolutions barring God from destroying them within their jurisdictions. (Blount County, Tennessee Committeewoman Karen Miller)

Rape victims who schedule an abortion are the same as slave owners. (Ben Carson again)

Guns should be taken away from people…but only black people. (Former

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