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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
“Remember, folks, children are our future…”
As we await the start of the Democratic candidates forum in South Carolina, the kids weigh in with Kimmel on the 2016 candidates:
Your last DK v. 4.0 west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold… [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Tuesday’s Democratic winners will be careful to enact policies that don’t overreach. Tuesday’s Republican winners will be careful to enact policies that do nothing but overreach.
In the 36 hours since the polls closed Tuesday, I’ve received 296 emails from various campaigns informing me that our work isn’t finished, by which they mean the work involving me giving them more money.
Kim Davis’s husband Joe is so excited to be going to Kentucky governor-elect Matt Bevin’s inauguration that he’s already rented his tuxedo overalls.
Also I know that the baby popemobile won Halloween.
George H.W. and Barbara Bush have a bright red box in their house that says, “In case of emergency, break glass and run Neil.”
At this point it would be easier if the automakers published lists of the cars that aren’t being recalled.
Sure, it’s an off-off-year election day, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some—nay, a lot of—important issues and candidates on the various ballots around the country.
Here in Maine we’ve got some interesting decisions to make. Three state ballot initiatives are aiming to fund affordable housing for low-income seniors, transportation projects (roads, bridges, commuter hovercraft lanes) and—gasp!—clean elections.
As true as ever.
Closer to home, Portland is having its first mayoral re-election election. Four years ago Democrat Michael Brennan became the first voted-in and paid mayor since 1923, 88 years after the position was reduced to a mere symbolic one as decided by the city council. Brennan’s main competition is from fellow Democrat Ethan Strimling. Not to dive too far into the local weeds, but I hope Strimling loses. Someone’s gonna need to pick up the gubernatorial
Rush Limbaugh: Thank you for joining us for the fourth Republican debate. I’m Rush Limbaugh with my co-moderators Sean Hannity and Mark Levin. Mark, I see you have a spoon of chocolate pudding ready, so why don’t you ask the first question. Mr. Levin: Thank you, Rush. Governor Huckabee, my question to you is: would you like some pudding? Would ya, huh huh? Brrrrrrroom Brrrrrrrroom…here comes the big pudding airplane into the big Huckabee hangar! Open wide…. Attaboy! Mikey eats the pudding!
“Jeb want pudding, too!”
Gov. Huckabee: Nom nom nom! Yummy pudding tasty! Jesus loved pudding and I love Jesus so I LOVE PUDDING! Impeach Obama!
[Audience standing ovation]
Mr. Limbaugh: Sean Hannity will ask the next question with the next spoonful of pudding.
“Jeb Bush had a very rough night [at the debate]. He finally got time to say what he wanted, and how did he use it? He attacks not Donald Trump, not Hillary Clinton or Ben Carson. Of all people, he attacks Marco Rubio for missing votes in the Senate. Which is something that literally no one outside of Florida cares about. It was embarrassing. It’s just like a Bush to attack the wrong guy.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Carly Fiorina said that after the previous debate, people told her that she needed to smile more. They were like, ‘Just pretend you’re laying off a bunch of people.'” —Jimmy Fallon
“On 60 Minutes Vice President Joe Biden said he chose not to run for president because he couldn’t win. After hearing this, Bobby Jindal said, ‘Since when is that